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Why friends can sometimes be your greatest enemies
By: Pure Results Personal Training

Why friends can sometimes be your greatest enemies

Everybody knows the influence our friends have in our lives especially our close friends. Someone once told me that you can pretty much work out someone's weekly wage by knowing the wages of their best friends then deviding it up. I don't know how accurate this approach would be but I can understand the logic behind it.

We tend to choose friends who are like us and who like doing similar things to us. The basis to the rapport building process is commonality or having things in common. And people in general from my experience like to keep the status quo and not like to change too much or too radically.

So this begs the question, "What happens when you go on a health kick and your friends don't?" You'll get a few responses depending on a myriad of circumstances. Some of your friends will get fired up and encourage you and tell you that it's an excellent idea. Others will just say it's a waste of time and question why you are doing it and these are the people who expect you to fail. It's probably because people just want you to be like them, the same reason when you first met. So if all of a sudden you make a change they will feel left behind and they don't want this.

The problem is one of the most important factors in reaching your health and fitness goals is having a strong support team around you. There's nothing worse than finishing a week of excellent workouts and reaching your short term goals and have your friends bring you out and feed you junk and the rest for the whole weekend.

I can take the hard stand and say well it's your mouth and your life. You didn't have to eat's your decision, not theirs. But I understand that as human beings one of our human needs (not wants) is to feel loved, wanted, appreciated, a sense of companionship etc. So it is almost impossible to consistently say no to friends who don't understand what you're trying to achieve or who don't understand the change of direction your life is taking. I don't believe it's a deliberate thing just people being people.

I would seriously consider losing friends who are downright jealous and try and sabotage your goals for selfish intent. There are enough people in this world who are not friends who would do this and you most certainly don't need friends behaving like this. Otherwise ask yourself these questions when faced with decisions about staying on track:

  •  Understand your priorities - by doing this am I getting closer to my goals or further away.

  •  Listen to your gut - Pay attention to what your inner voice is saying. If you don't feel like it, don't do it. Trust yourself. Be truthful to yourself.

  •  Ask yourself "Why?"when making the decision:

    "Am I doing this out of Guilt or Fear?"

  • "Who am I doing this for? Me or them?"

Added: 11-07-2010